Discussing Fear and Ego

Lately, I’ve been focusing my studies on the concepts of fear and the Chief Negative Features, (CF), also called the Chief Obstacles. Too often the aspect of fear gets glossed over and it’s difficult to tie the meanings of the CF to fear.

So, I’d like to discuss fear for a while. Fear is like love, one definition or instance doesn’t fit all occurrences of it. If anyone has ever felt outright terror, they know that terror is a whole lot different than the “delicious fear” of a roller coaster ride, or the fear induced by a well-crafted suspense thriller, or the fear when one loses traction on an icy road and the car inexorably keeps sliding in a slow-motion circle into oncoming traffic, or the more familiar phobic fears of mice, spiders, snakes, heights, or open spaces. All of these cause a physical reaction at some level that we recognize, i.e., faster pulse, sweaty palms, stomach clenching, queasiness, adrenalin reactions.

As Michael has said, fear is a protective mechanism. It’s physically-based and part of our DNA. It causes not only the oft-quoted fight or flight reaction, but also the freeze one. Each has its place in certain circumstances, and can be a hindrance in others. But, it’s difficult to matchup fear being at the core of CF reactions.

So, we need to examine “what” is fearful when CFs come out to play. It’s Ego. Our sense of self.

Dictionary definitions:

1. the self of an individual person; the conscious subject
2. (Psychoanalysis) Psychoanal the conscious mind, based on perception of the environment from birth onwards: responsible for modifying the antisocial instincts of the id and itself modified by the conscience (superego)
3. one’s image of oneself; morale to boost one’s ego
4. egotism; conceit

What makes the fear that curdles the heart of ego so unique is that it’s all in one’s mind. It’s our view of self that is under attack, our self-image. Our view doesn’t even have to be accurate, we simply have to perceive at some primitive level that we’re under attack, fear rises, and CF manifests. This is why ego is equated with false personality and Maya.

The roots of the fear are false as they are all based on a personal perception of being less than perfect, less than loved, and we have adopted the external view of ourself as truth. Every negative pole has the exact same root, a negative view of oneself FROM oneself. So, before one can really battle any of the symptoms of negative poles or CFs, one must deal head on with the essential issue — learning to love, like, and appreciate oneself. ┬áThis is also the key to “manifesting Essence,” or conscious connection to Essence.

Once you know you have value, REALLY know it, the fear doesn’t rise. The little voice that whispers lies about yourself goes away.

But, how do we cope with the fundamental discrepancy of “to be human is to err,” or “nobody’s perfect” with Michael’s oft-repeated statement that in Essence’s eyes, you ARE perfect just the way you are. Acceptance of self as you are. Perfection is not in being perfect, it’s in being yourself, in being human. Essence loves itself; so, it loves you. You are doing the one thing it cannot do — living as a physical being.

Most Michael Students go through feelings of being a puppet of Essence, that Essence got to make all of the agreements, plunked “us” down in a body, and is disgustedly watching us fuck up and/or is watching us as live entertainment. Actually, it’s our own fear-based ego that is the puppet master. It’s the one with the knee-jerk reactions that propel us through many a drama for all of the wrong reason(s) — i.e., a lack of acceptance of who we truly are: a unique human being, but not a special one.

Each of us has choice for each lifetime. Things may have been set in motion with the choosing of a body, the genetic package and overleaves that come with it, but from thereon out, we’ve got free rein for choosing what to do with it. We even choose our CFs. What does this really mean? It means that all humans are subject to the same limitations of DNA, a body, an imprinting world around them, and an ability to grow beyond it (even Transcendental Souls have CFs).

This is the inherent core issue that must be grappled with: Ego-driven versus Acceptance of Self. Special versus unique.

I’ll continue this next time.

4 comments to Discussing Fear and Ego

  • Hey, Geraldine. I find myself going back to the CFs again and again…trying to understand how they operate in my life. I feel that understanding them is THE key to enjoying myself and this life.

    Before I stumbled upon the Michael Teachings, I was already aware of my fear of vulnerability/fear of being exposed. And I had already had more than one experince of what it would be like for others to see me and my vulnerabilities. I found out that I enjoyed being seen, being human, receiving support, and experiencing deeper connections with others around me.

    The fear is still there, though. It seems built-in, so to speak. It seems that the ARROGANCE takes over, and then I notice it, and make a different choice. But the awareness is key. I just don’t like the feeling and the DISCONNECTION when the CF is operating. It is harder to believe the lies. I wonder what it would be like to EXTINGUISH the CFs?

    I feel I have a much better understanding of the ARROGANCE than I do the IMPATIENCE, even though it’s very obvious to me and others when I become impatient! But I don’t quite understand that I am afraid of losing control of time…or why that is a fear? I get that I want CONTROL of something, but it’s hard to really see that it is TIME I’m wanting to control. Okay. LOL! I get it! It seems so obvious when I’m looking at it from a distance.

    I think one of the biggest victories over fear and the CFs is when we are okay with having them. Once I became aware of them, there was a tendency to beat myself up when they arose. I thought I needed to become completely different in my behavior and reactions. But now, I see that that is just more FEAR and CF! Accepting the CF and the dance I do with them, is one of the areas I see as having done much Good Work.

  • Nicholas –
    According to Stevens, there are frequently seven steps in childhood for developing impatience:
    1) children are rushed;
    2) children associate fear with rushing;
    3) children learn that time is limited;
    4) children learn to associate goals with a limited time frame;
    5) children learn that time can be lost;
    6) children feel trapped by time;
    7) children learn that the present is not important.
    How it usually manifests for adults, i.e., older souls, is that it’s applied to situations and shows as in “cart before the horse” types of scenarios–such as writing the checks and mailing them before making the deposit.

    Maybe, this will give you some insight into what processes set up impatience for you, and in turn, the types of issues that trigger it most often.

  • Thanks, Geraldine. I’ll have to get that book. What I am understanding is that, in reality, the IMPATIENCE has been much broader in scope than the way I tend to habitually think of it. I usually only think of the knee-jerk reactions of becoming impatient at slow cars on the road, or someone stopping me with questions when I’m ready to be moving on, keeping to my “schedule.” Let me tell you, I watch time like a hawk! I’ve always prided myself in being able to be on-time and being able to manage my time wisely. I think this is all a manifestation of the CF because there has always been this irrational fear around losing control of my time…my schedules…

    When I think of the BROADER manifestation of the IMPATIENCE in my life, I think about how all of the goals that I had, in terms of career and making something of myself, needed to be completed as soon as possible. I graduated high-school and went straight into college. And even though there was a strong desire to drop out of college, I wouldn’t let myself. After college, I wanted to SLOW down and take time off…follow that impulse that arose during college to just BE for a while and go with the flow, explore myself and life…I let myself do that for a year, then I jumped into grad school. In the middle of grad school, I had a breakdown, and almost quit. But I stayed. I couldn’t do it! The IMPATIENCE and ARROGANCE wouldn’t let me. Then I got out of grad school and sort of jumped into another long-term committment with my Reiki and spiritual healing studies. All of this was motivated by a fear of what would happen if I just FLOWED…and didn’t feel so rushed to get something done and make something of myself. As I write this, I can see how the IMPATIENCE and ARROGANCE have worked together to influence my choice-making.

    One of the big shifts in my perception that the 4IM has brought, is that there really is no need to hurry. I am experiencing more of the positive pole of my goal of flow-FREEDOM. I remind myself all the time that I can slow down and enjoy the unfolding, trusting that ultimately, nothing “bad” will happen.

    As I write this, I am also seeing just how much of my SELF-IMAGE is indeed wrapped up in these CFs. How it has become important to see myself in the ways that the CFs have manipulated me into thinking is best…as INVULNERABLE and…oh, I don’t know…Mr. HIGHLY EFFICIENT AND CAPABLE… Fascinating to be able to see this and observe it. And wonderful to be able to let go of those straight-jacket images of myself…

  • Nicholas–

    I taken great exception with Jose Steven’s anthropomorphizing CFs as “dragons” and giving them lifeform status. My next article will discuss this. I don’t think your CFs have manipulated you at all. They are part of you. But, let me write up the article and we can discuss it then.

    Geraldine

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